The nature of attachment disorders

Interruption in the cycle of attachment during the first or second year of a child's life generally results in some degree of attachment disorder including lack of trust in his primary caregiver, his environment, and himself. This lack of trust interferes with developing reciprocal and responsive relationships in successful friendships, marriage, parenting, therapy, education, and employment.

By the time a child and his family come to us,the child is often chronically angry, depressed, anxious, scared and always on the lookout for something troubling. A child with this kind of psychological and emotional damage has usually developed ways of interacting with the world that do not build trust or accept nurturing from well-meaning adoptive or foster parents.

Symptoms of Attachment Disorder

The most frequent complaint from parents about their child, pre-teen, or teen with an attachment disorder is:

"My son (or daughter) has an extreme need to control or manipulate his environment and relationships rather than invest in the give-and-take of a close and caring relationship."

In addition to this need for control and manipulation, there are other symptoms. Keep this in mind—some children will exhibit only some of the symptoms listed below. And, the list alone does not diagnose a child with an attachment disorder. Here are some common symptoms we see in children and teens:
 

• Superficially engaging and charming
  

• Poor reciprocal eye contact
  

• Little conscience or empathy
  

• Lacks genuine affection for others
  

• Randomly affectionate with strangers but not with parents
  

• Does not smile in return for another's
  

• Destructive to self and others
  

• Involved in fire setting and other property damage
  

• Cruel to animals
  

• Steals and lies about the obvious ("crazy lying")
  

• Poor impulse control (acts hyperactive)
  

• Significant learning delays
  

• Behind in emotional and social development
  

• Poor cause-and-effect thinking
  

• Abnormal eating habits (gorges or hoards food)
  

• Few and poor peer relationships
  

• Preoccupied with gore
  

• Chatters nonstop and asks nonsense questions
  

• Extremely demanding or clingy